Hello community!
How are you today? I want to drop a little note of a slightly different flavor because I am allowed to do that in my own personal expression portal. I was inspired by someone’s writing this morning as she explored the pitfalls of society’s need to corral us into narrowing our expressions to a target audience, a point of focus so we can make money, sell you on something, look consistent and therefore trustworthy.
I don’t live life that way. I am a nuanced woman with 88 passions a minute flowing through her body. The mindset that I have to narrow my focus for YOU loops me into that trap of commodifying myself, seeking approval, limiting my genius in fear I won’t survive if I am too wild and untamed, and therefore safe- for someone else’s inability to meet their own fears.
So, here I am with you this morning, afternoon, maybe laying bed at 11:11 looking at your phone past your bedtime- I am honored. I want to explore more and share more of my daily life from the guts of me, the places I fear to speak from, the exiled voice in my big toe that has a little fungus on it and I know is only seeking love- maybe you read “My father’s feet meet Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes”- you can find it in my feed.
So here is a spiral of thoughts that flow together inside of me- blessings…
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"Shira get grounded"
I have heard this all of my life. Mostly from people in the spiritual communities who are my friends and allies. It is true that I got hit with a whole slew of things in my early life that would create separation from my ground.
It is also true that I am a unique being with my own contract here in Earth school, who walks her own path, because I know my path. It is one that has no road map from any external source I have found. This has been one of my greatest challenges. My teachers aren't really "in a body"- they have not existed on Earth for a few millennia.
What I want to shed light on is the gaslighting from others and myself- mostly myself- that has perpetuated illness, separation and "ungroundedness", creating loops of self doubt- round and round into more silence, more seeking grounding rather than stopping- like I am today, and claiming my ground by claiming my connection to Heaven.
I was limiting myself by taking in other's views of ground. I denied my holy wholeness by becoming myopic in what embodiment looked like. My embodied wholeness happens to include full memory of my galactic ancestry and citizenship.
"Shira your head is in the stars"
You bet it is, and my feet are planted firmly in the sacred dance on Gaia that tells of this remembering of my Universal family. And I am done tripping over myself when I KNOW the moves.
Yet, since no one around me was having the experience of Universal guidance and wisdom pouring through them- and since I live in a culture where talking about magic and love and the healing powers that live within the DNA matrix around us and within our very breath and that trees actually talk isn't welcome because it doesn't flood the nervous system with dopamine and cortisol like talking about war and the fight- and because no one really wants to really hear another love story because they think you're some hippy dippy love fairy who needs to "get real”…
I have stayed silent and it has created illness. The illness has kept me safe. This is a whole other ball of wax I will melt down with loving awareness in another post. I know for a fact that the majority of our complex mystery illnesses (especially because they mostly affect women) are forms of protection and therefore addiction- they rise out of fear and the many insidious ways fear works in the body. They are, in their chronic forms, self created.
I was given a LOT to turn into love in this life. I know without a doubt that I have been guided every step of the way. I also know without a doubt what I am a part of and who I TRULY am.
There is access to an expanded network of consciousness that defies the linearity of human thought in what we are capable of in healing, evolution and creations based in reciprocity.
The Starscape has brought things into my life that cannot be explained otherwise and I fully feel LOVE all day. Yet I denied that Love because of the gaslighting and confusions around Love I had to unravel. Thus, I created a bunch of imbalances to bring me back to Love until I could no longer deny what my life story was really about.
Like now, as I rise out of what I see as the end of a LONG lesson in healing my body, what I believe to be true, detoxing doubt and fear of claiming what is true and aligning with it like my life depends on it- because it does. I have been down for the count for months on a sacred mission and it has rendered more beauty than if I had been “out doing and going and producing and being some idea of what you or they want”. I have literally been put on my couch in various postures of faith.
So with all of this once again forced blessed rest, I am going through the last decade of journals and entering the bits I want to glean into a document. I don’t advise this unless you are ready to fully integrate yourself into yourself ;). Reading me and witnessing the repeat themes requires a pipe full of Tobacco and a cold swim. Bless my heart.
What I consistently notice is this lifelong extreme swing between my dual natures. There are pages of mystic devotion followed by pages of pain. Pages praying for help, followed by help. I am sure I am not alone in this sacred madness.
Excerpt from journal:
The Priestess- Shaman works with the energies present, she walks between the worlds and stands balance by knowing her truth while ecstasy and disaster dance around her. Her breath is a spell that casts winds of change for the perfection to reveal itself. Her main work is cultivating stillness so that she can be a vessel for this Love.
Duality is the great riddle of the human journey. I am a dual natured being for a reason. I am a tree and not the tree for a reason. I did not name this space Her Many Faces by accident. And behind each veiled and mysterious expression of Her, each time I step behind the curtain, I only have found arms of love and a basketful of divine remembrance for me to now carry and distribute along my path for others whose amnesia has created a separation from their source.
So I integrate God by Loving the Devil and thus seeing that all is actually One (with some caveats).
Anyhow, as we move towards more chaos in our climate we are also expanding our consciousness. If there is more war, then there is also more peace. Your perceptions and where you focus your attention matters. I have found that we can only focus our attention towards what we want to see when we know what innately supports us and what we are connected to at a quantum and Universal level. Your galactic citizenship and the memory of your lineage ignites dormant DNA that knows how to withstand the parasitic influence of dominating fear culture.
When you no longer need the wound to feed you, you will be fed by a force that flicks fear away like a pesky house fly. Not because your fears leave, but because they are in their rightful place in the dance of duality and expanded awareness of their function.
How does one understand, reveal, recover their own contract? I have written about the many ways that can help. But after the sessions and the medicines, it boils down to a choice. And that is a daily dance between you and your Gods.
~There is a LOT of external information from numerous sources that will only increase. We are inundated with competing distractions and now AI. We are also being inundated with an expanded energy field of this Universal citizenship. The distractions will keep you from hearing the deep soul connection you have with your part in that expanded family. This is a personal journey and I am not here to tell you what that cosmological connection is for you as your memory and unique golden thread is most important.
As the influx of more stimuli affects our nervous systems, if you don't know who you are and what you are connected to at your core, if you can't stand like a tree and watch the storms with roots in the Womb and branches in the celestial pools and discern the voices of love from fear- from true beingness and the imposters, then the anxiety will only continue to take your precious life force.
Stop denying the deepest feelings of you. Trust your body, listen to another voice, do the thing you have not done but keeps whispering in your ear “if only’s and what if’s”. I don’t say this like it’s a cake walk. I am calling you in so we can do it together and amplify what is possible by supporting each other.
Get grounded in YOU and will find that your roots might just extend beyond what "they" told you about LOVE, belonging and human potential. Throw your head into the Stars and carry moon beams home in a jar because the Mystery is gonna have Her way regardless.
Thanks for meandering with me.
Blessed be.
Reminds me of my personal Artist's Statement:
"Never listen to anyone about anything, ever."
Grounded schmounded. She is in charge. ♥️