Spring blessings,
I just spent the last winter descending and dying. Learning from the altar of night and emptiness about what is most true inside of my soul. I was stripped of everything after a powerful transmission in October that came through the Stars and the Magic Mushrooms about my life path. The vision was life changing and the wisdom on the tail was that the initiation was complete and it was time to seek those who hold a memory of the First Song to mirror my own and anchor the sacred gift I walk with.
Paths and people began to open and my energy was soaring. Yet, just when I thought I was about to embark on this multi-month learning process I instead plummeted into disappearance- a different sort of learning process. The old wise ones would call it a healing crisis.
There was nothing to do but sit and let the Ocean on Mexico’s south coast wash my fears and take my tears as I watched all of my desires miscarry like sand through my hands. Even the harp was “taken” from me- I tried buying a drum and was allowed an Owl rattle. Sure, yes, I wrote some things and was still living and breathing and having some sort of life experience but it was concave, it was in a grave. No doing, just rotting and letting the greater forces eat me. I was not in control.
In the depth of one of my many prayers for mercy, as I lay under a cacao forest at the base of the Oaxaca mountains, a very powerful 15 year old stood up inside of me and said- “I need a Shaman!” I saw the Jaguar circling my heart and I knew that despite my exhaustion (dying takes a lot of energy) my fears and overwhelm, that I was being called by Mother Ayahuasca in the deep Amazon jungle of Peru. It had been a long while since I sat at her altar. I respect her and always kept her at arms length for my reasons. About 5 years ago I was told by her that there would be a time that I would be called and it would be THE time and that IT would be done.
This was about my song, my medicine and my voice. This was about the story of my life. I knew I needed a very strong container where I could do nothing but be fed and held. I was told to diet a plant and submerge myself into isolation to commune with creation.
(Dieting is a very deep courtship with a certain plant, tree or elemental so that the healing and protective energetics of that being essentially become part of your DNA- it is serious, deep and revelatory work and the still intact gatekeepers of dieting are the Shipibo people- bless the ones holding good medicine)
One medicine center after another emerged and as I would go to finalize the transactions they would fall away for various reasons. I asked myself, “is this a sign I am not supposed to go?!” If you have ever received an initiation from me you will know that I always say that there will be tests and that you will have to clamor for your first YES and keep walking in faith to the threshold.
Then the exact center emerged. I knew little other than it was recommended by someone I trust deeply and that the lineage there was old, powerful and held by a woman- a very well known Shipibo Maestra with a very powerful song. The synchronicities and the healing began the minute my dates were chosen and the money was exchanged. I could feel timelines shifting and the jungle opening to me.
I did not know what I would diet, but I kept seeing a tree. I needed deep roots to rise from this death. Trees are big huge medicine and I had only dieted Mapacho (Amazonian Tobacco) for a short time in the Amazon years ago- and that medicine walks strong with me- deep bow.
Upon arriving I was made aware that this particular family lineage holds the crown of a sacred flying love tree that glows in the night called Noya Rao. It means “to walk with Love medicine” and is the healer’s tree. Of course. I know how to follow a call. This was who was calling me behind the jaguar. He told me (he shows up to me as an old old man) that he is connected to the lineage I walk with and that he heard my prayer.
I courted Noya Rao in isolation for a month as the Maestra sang plant codes into me and mama Ayahuasca unfolded worn out pockets of me and the mosquitoes ate me and rats chewed through my suitcase and everything that had any moisture- which was everything- turned to mold and I sweat out every lie and had no mirror to see my face other than the moon and glaring sun and no music other than my own voice and the jungle song and no books only the words I wrote and no electricity except the fervent thunder and lightening storms and no washing of my hair for three weeks and the same three meals every day that were stripped of every sensation of salt, sugar, fat, spice, nuance etc. There was good fish and there were good people. There was a hammock and there was a hawk.
My kind of heaven.
The jungle is fecund, dense, mysterious and vastly still unknown except to the congregation of plants, creatures and energies of all realms that live there. The indigenous people who hunker under the overstory, and have kept the medicine of their ancestors in tact, are the closest to understanding the inner workings of such a mysterious network of wisdom winding through Gaia. They must be made national treasures, not annihilated in the name of fear and consumption.
Everything thrives and yet very few can survive in the jungle. It eats everything that is not sovereign. And even then, you are in a house full of a multiplicity of ghosts and you have to choose which ones get to feed on you. Death, rebirth, more death, eat me to eat you to become you to become me to become Her to become nothing and again bloom into a perfume that helps others remember how to die to love.
I died and I actually almost died. I don’t say this lightly. Oh my heart. I was face to face with a choice. To allow the true story of my Life in to heal and rebirth me in Truth, or to stay walking with the overlay of the circumstances I have been calling my life story and call that truth. Noya Rao came in the very beginning of the journey and said “there is not enough room for me and “that” so make your choice Shira Stardrift”. The tilling of old soil began so that my deeply planted dream seed could rise, shine and sing with the Truth in praise to Mother God and her many faces.
~What happens when The Song is silenced in you- in the people? Which story can be told then? Without the Song, how does Life know how to rise within us and bring the new light and keep turning the tides of renewal and reciprocity with Life? What consumes the empty space where the Song is supposed to be humming along with the gift of the soul to live in step with the Love that made the beauty we see? Do you see beauty?
What happens when Mother is denied you? When you are told a story of suffering and that your love is conditional and that you are stuck in a karmic loop where you must pay a price to be fed? When the womb you were cradled in, and are still cradled within, is desecrated by stories that entrench your mind in fear of Mother, of the wild that regenerates, of Womb, of God?
I will let you fill in what you wish as I do not care to name such things any longer in the old way. I bless them and let them decay and plant my feet in a new day where all things take on the One name.
In all of my journeys, in all of my work, in every human I have held who has cried at my altar for help, under the wounds and the traumas and the illnesses they think, I used to think, were the cause of the suffering is a deep existential fear of receiving Love. Of letting in the Song of Life and singing our own. Of following our hearts. Of being fully nourished by Life’s unconditional love- by Mother. Every disease, every depression, every ounce of suffering- is a Love problem- a malady of missing Mother and Her lullaby that feeds our soul song.
It is a God problem.
~As the Earth kingdom and all of Her medicines burst to the forefront of our healing technologies there is a parallel energy rebirthing itself in the people. The memory of Mother God, the Mystery of the Divine Feminine, the Holy Christ Light of Love, Mother Sophia, the First Love Song of creation- the Womb. This primordial Love of the most high truth is what returns us to indigeneity and innate belonging. It is what is behind the many Mountain Gods and Sea Goddesses and Star Nations that have long allied people in right relationship upon Gaia.
The memory of the first song is woven into the womb of Gaia (which is why womb healing in women is vital for all of us) from which all of our sacred medicines suckle their wisdom. The medicines and mysteries in the Womb of Gaia contain every story of Life, the mystery of duality and the consciousness of primordial Universal connection which undermine any story of separation. Within the rootstock they sing of an incorruptible flame of Life and are in service to God, to the One Truth-
There is One Song that lives inside of you. Your holy homework in Earth school is to claim it and name it in a sound that resounds your own Truth and your own cosmology. Name your maker in your own holy fashion and reweave yourself back to a network of reciprocity that feeds your soul. In that you will find YOUR Life and your healing.
Plant medicines, the magic mushroom kingdom, Mother Nature and Universal wisdom teach us how to let go and return back to Her Womb for regeneration. NOTHING stays in a one dimensional, linear realm other than the fear in the human mind grasping at stasis to stay safe and undying. To die is to open up the spiral portal of rebirth. And under Sacred Law, Mother, Womb, God - always rebirths into greater forms of beauty over and over again until the Truth is realized. Thus, that beauty may take the form of a seemingly scary thing to get you to turn to the one place that remains incorruptible and break the sleep cycle of forgetfulness of what you are. It boils down to a choice, which you have- always…
To believe that you are Love, that you are loved, that you are made to be renewed and remade by Mother’s Love- it is written in the Sacred Laws of Reciprocity and Abundance. And all you have to do is lay your life down into Her hands, walk in praise and faith, open again to love and receive the gifts of your life. Then everything you touch and everything you do is a gift to those around you because you are a transmission of Truth. The key is learning to hear the deeper call within YOUR life and walk it- laughing, loving, praising. The key is under the sacred wound of your life and of this turbulent time.
The portal to this pathway is through the flesh. The song that sets you free lives under and intertwined with the blessed circumstances of your life that have been given to you through the mysterious workings of the creator to turn you towards that which you have always been. In order to love yourself free you must feel within your heart and body all that is not aligned to that freedom, bless it, reframe it, grieve it and let it die a proper death back into Her womb where it can reborn into the First Song. In other words your healing is your gatekeeper to this Love. This is tedious and holy work and you will need help, allies, midwives, mentors and Mother.
The tides are turning and the Earth is rebirthing because the Earth and so much life as we have known it is dying. Timelines are shifting and we are embarking upon a great transformation and there are many ways this can go but I will tell you this-
You cannot outrun Mother God or the turnings so why not learn how to stand strong inside of Her kingdom? Here you will remember that on the other side of letting go, of death, is a great garden that grows in place of what you thought you couldn’t bare to lose, and it holds more life and more beauty than you could have dreamt alone. This is the great return to the Mother you have been crying for. The Mother who was buried under imposters trying to nourish you. Everything you need is within Her womb. Mother destroys what does not serve and Mother replenishes, renews and regenerates with new evolutionary codes of Universal genius.
In the end Love will take you anyway. Every crucible and challenge you find yourself in is a cocoon refining you and stripping you to the only choice that redeems your soul. You can wait until your last breath or you can breathe and claim Her now to move inside of you, guide and sustain your life. Her foods, her medicines, the wisdom you seek lives under your feet and in the air you breathe.
It is safe to share your love. It is safe to be loved. It is safe to follow the wisdom you have received on your sacred journeys. It is safe to dream the dream in your heart. It is safe to follow your heart. It is safe to lay your mind down into your heart and put everything in its rightful order again. It is safe to let go of the addictions and the traumas and the afflictions and the fight and the story you keep telling about your life that keeps you looping in fear. You can feel them, you can love them free and you can walk back to God - through your body.
You will have everything you need when you need it, no more and no less and you will live in abundance from the inside out. And yet, you will never be rid of the sacred wound for it holds the mystery of duality that brings you ever closer to Her bosom through your longing to be free in her arms again and again, forging you to live on the wild edge of wonder in trust. Let your life be a great journey that you sing and write into being until you pray to die each and every day.
Yo do not have to rip the bandaid off all at once, in fact that is not recommended. You do not have to give up your sacred needs, your pleasures, your loved ones or your family and walk into the desert crying forever to find Her within you. Although your vision quest will be requested. The sacred contract contains the wisdom of these times and knows that we live within an industrialized complex, that has mostly destroyed life, but has also birthed some incredible advancements.
It is about a return to balance where all ideas are welcome upon the Circle of Life as long as they serve the collective field and are encoded with the One Song. As you learn to listen to the voice of Truth inside of yourself you will be guided to everything you need and therefore your trust in Life, in the Womb of creation and God is restored- you essentially become partnered with Universal intelligence because you allow it in to help you. When your choices are in concert with this intelligence they are, by Sacred Law, Life inclusive.
Maybe you have turned from God. But I will tell you that is impossible because you have always been in service. The great mystery has always had you. It is the contract you signed before entering heaven on Earth. Whether you remember this or not is up to you. Again, sacred medicines when consumed in right relationship (and another pitch to heal the wombs in women) and the proper midwives who know the ways of the Womb are tools that can help your rebirth by teaching you how to listen to your body, your heart and your fears through the lens of love, and trust something greater again.
Humans didn’t revive the awareness of the plant kingdom- She did. Mother God has always been working through you, through us. There is nothing that is not Her, with the caveat that there are energies that have forgotten their rightful place upon the Circle of Life and feed on fear and separation (one could say that they are also Her to turn you powerfully towards the opposite).
Maybe you have turned from Mother. Maybe mother is a painful word. Maybe your mama caused a lot of harm or maybe your beautiful mama has been sick all of your life like mine and is facing her sacred contracts daily and fighting for her life and unraveling the wounds and attachments and lies around what nourishes and sustains her gorgeous life giving body. (I love you mom, you are so strong)
When women are cast as sinners and our bodies are desecrated in the name of false gods, when we are born into a collective story that the wild feminine landscapes are places to fight back and fear, that mother is sick and empty and fallow and therefore unavailable to care for her children, that the womb and its life giving blood is dirty and if you touch a bleeding woman you have been tainted, when the hospitals bind the breasts of new mothers like they did my grandmother because it’s “ungodly” to see such a profanity, when men across the world are still allowed to kill mothers in front of their children- what do you think happens to the story of Life inside the wombs of the women and how do you think they are going to be able to mother when mothering and womaning and nurturing and birthing and creating and sustaining have been denatured? And thus that story lives in you because the womb of a woman encoded you with every story about life.
This means that the original story of Life also lives within the wombs of the women and within the Womb of Gaia and we rewrite ourselves back into a world where all walk free and fed when we remember, embody and live by that story.
(Deep breath pause for the mothers- especially the ones who have caused harm to their children because that is not their story, nor is it yours)
Your choice to turn towards the truth in your heart is what dispels the fear story of Mother God from regenerating. Your choice to be the medicine rewrites the story in the Womb of Creation so all walk with their song again. Your choice to receive help from Her awakens the incorruptible Well and all are fed. And so it is. Blessed be.
~So hear I stand at the altar of the Most High and place my life in the hands of Faith. I walk the path of the One that holds the staff of the First Light. I carry the peace pipe in my heart and know how to say a good prayer. I am a humble woman, loving her way through her blessed human existence, fertile, open, receptive and thriving. There is one path to walk and that is of Mother God in holy praise for the Love that has been guiding every single moment of my life. There is one song to sing and how that moves uniquely through me is my key to freedom.
I bow at the rootstock of Gaia’s kingdom that suckle upon the incorruptible Womb for awakening the wisdom of my womb, of the one path and the one truth- that there is only one story and that is a Love story and everything of Her making is in service to, and its is-ness is, to return us to God. Mother God, the Divine Holy Creatrix of all things.
Oh, and I carry a pipe made from the root of a sacred flying love tree- so there’s that.
Noya Rao ea riki koshi soi noma. To have Love medicine- I am strong, soft woman.
Amen.
PLEASE SHARE THE LOVE IF YOU ARE MOVED. AND BECOMING A PAID SUBSCRIBER ELEVATES THE GIFT I AM HERE TO SHARE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROSITY.
Sacred Plant Revival and Mother God